Why are women all over the world – woman in their 30s and 40s - lovesick for Edward Cullen? Though the Twilight books are aimed at teenagers, it’s the older ladies who’ve fallen for him in one almighty crush. I myself am a victim of this phenomenon. Not even a promise to perfect my calligraphy will convince my wife that I’ll ever come close to the fictional blood sucker. Here’s what my wife says of Cullen...
"He offers Bella physical protection, emotional security. He’s intellectual, sensitive, funny, gorgeous and exciting. His breath smells sweet. He makes her feel special. He’s been looking for a partner for about 80 years – and she’s the only one that’s caught his attention. While she’s a perfectly normal, introverted girl, who’s averagely clever and totally uncoordinated, he finds her to be totally absorbing and fascinating. And it doesn’t wear off when he gets to know her. He doesn’t try to change her, because he loves her just as she is. He doesn’t get irritated when she keeps injuring herself (due to her clumsiness) – he’s just concerned for her safety. He’s totally unaware of how wonderful he is – so he’s genuinely humble. He’s almost omnipresent and omniscient. There’s also no way he suffers from flatulence ..."
Now that I am back on my feet, I ask the question: “Is there a feminist conspiracy against men or have we done this to ourselves?” Just look at this year’s raft of Super Bowl advertisements. Has Madison Ave seen something the rest of us men haven’t – or should I say, don’t care acknowledge?
As CNN Money points out, “the oddest and most omnipresent theme of the Super Bowl ad break was men without pants”.
“Portraits of men in embarrassing situations led to a larger theme in this year's Super Bowl ads -- the emasculated male in tough economic times” wrote staff writer Aaron Smith.
Tim Calkins, Marketing Professor at the Kellogg School of Management agrees: "Men getting beaten down -- that's the underlying psychology in a way. I think it's behind the unemployment data out there. Men are really feeling the brunt of the recession."
All good advertisements start with an insight into the human condition. Without one, ads fall flat...no matter how much flesh you flash. Check out this piece, a glorified publicity billboard rather than an ad to be taken seriously.
But then there are these ads, all resonant with the theme of a fallen, de-nutted American male...
Dodge – “Man’s Last Stand”
Flo TV – “Change out of That Skirt”
Dockers – “Wear the Pants”
An arresting ad from the brother brand to Levi Strauss. Though it’s a little off-putting for those who don’t do Y-Fronts it has the catchiest of tunes. This is a continuation of a long running “Wear the Pants” campaign by Dockers which has been much maligned by Feminist groups. Click Here to see the Dockers “Wear the Pants” manifesto and some of their other print stuff. It’s good and touches a nerve.
Dove for Men – “Man Anthem”
An interesting contrast to the previous ads in that it celebrates ordinary men, calling for them to be comfortable in their own skin. The violent antithesis of what Old Spice has done. But do I want to be reminded that I am little more than an indentured domestic labourer?
But is it all, as Calkins and Smith assert a result of the recession? There’s no doubt men are on the back foot...but we have been for some time. In business, in sports, in dating...and most importantly, in our own families. We’re not having our best game. If it were not so, Fight Club would not have been the hit that it was. Tyler Durden reminds us that his is a generation of men brought up almost entirely by their mothers. Why else the angry, bare knuckle rallying call to Project Mayhem?
"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."
So perhaps there’s more to Twilight than a love story between a gawky co-ed and a handsome Vampire who doesn’t fart. Perhaps the Vampire Edward Cullen is a woman’s way of saying “Men, get your balls back...we need you to be strong”
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